lus I’m not the only one who took steps from those people, not solely due to how they treated the person I mentioned but other bad behavior. With that they have reconsidered their associations and have kept their distance also.

As far as my friend she is consistent in her behavior towards me and to others I’ve seen her around. Overall, she’s a good person that I’m happy to consider like a sister.

I do commend you on your choice to stand by your new friend. I hope she is able to do the same for you

Anyway, I decided to take a step back from those other people partially because my life became much busier and I also didn’t want their negative vibes to rub off on me. My dad always told me “show me your company and I’ll know who you are.”

When I hear from those folks I’m cordial but I don’t prolong the conversations. In my case I made the decision who to remain close to and who to make a break from. Makes life a lot easier when you do a social detox.

I heard this commentary on a radio show once: “So many people think their acquaintances have to earn their respect. I give them respect first; it’s up to them to lose mine.” and I agree. I try not to make decisions on people I don’t know, or have just met, based on hearsay. I let them start at 100 and it’s up to them if they stay there or fall, rather than make them start at -100 and struggle to keep my friendship. That’s a recipe for fail.

And I think we’re all sinners in our own way, you know? What is our present life but a continuing trial to see how we survive or falter?

I am thrilled to bits that you thought enough of me to reach out last year, and am thrilled that you are a fan of dark horses. Thank you, Chris

I like you tons, and am glad you’re out there doing what you do. Great post, by the way.
Chris Brogan…´s last blog ..Be a Sociologist – Overnight Success

Reminds me of junior high. Although it’s never a good thing, at least when you’re of JH age, you’re allowed to make those social mistakes and hopefully emerge a better person who doesn’t engage in clique-ish behaviour.

Taking what others say, esp when it comes to their friendship choices, with a huge grain of salt is key to maintaining you own sanity. Well said, Kat

Enter in the social hinge. He or she is friends with anyone they deem to have a common ground with, as long as they have been shown respect by said individuals. The social hinge often has to balance themselves because of drama between 2 mutual friends that do not get along. One form of manipulation one mutual friend might use to alienate the other friend from the hinge individual is that “you are who you associate yourself with” crap.

So while it can be a helpful load of advice, it can also be a manipulative tool. So I am all for taking it with a grain of salt. Some of the most hurtful and spiteful people are friend with “respected individuals”, using this association philosophy as a way to fall under the radar and continue spewing spite towards others without repercussion because of who they are friends with.