The number one rule of networking – whether it be face to face with director, producers, talent, or fans, or online in written language – you are going to be watched like a hawk. You have decided to put yourself out there for all the world to see, in all your naked glory…and people are going to comment on it. That being said, YOUR number one rule must be to be polite, friendly, and accommodating at all times. Actually, let me rephrase that – at MOST times. Obviously if you have a stalker who is trying to physically manhandle you at a convention or event is someone that is not going to have the privilege of seeing your best side. But you MUST maintain a level of composure that is polite, friendly, and accommodating.
The public perception, especially by the porn-buying public, is better marketed if you present yourself as single and available. Most guys are going to be more turned on by a girl who is sexy and pretty with a high sex drive, but is going to be even more interested if they don’t think you have a BF, are married, or even a lesbian. The appearance of availability and attainability is what is going to convince a guy to purchase a DVD, a website membership, or a calendar. Finding out that you’re married with two kids, a single mom with mouths to feed, or that you are “OMG in soooo much love with my BF!!!”is going to ruin the fantasy for a guy. And ruining fantasies is NOT what you’re in the business of doing.
You are GOING to get bad comments from time to time. Someone’s not going to like the way your scene was shot, or think that you’re not that good an adult talent. Some people are such that they go out of their way to seek talent that they wouldn’t find appealing just to heckle them. The difference between a successful career and one that spirals downward is how you react to it. Blogging about how they can “kiss your lily-white ass” is not going to garner any sympathy or support. Stay strong, be polite, be friendly, and be accomodating. Walk away if you have to, but don’t confront. Understand that it’s the other person’s insecurities and jealousies that are probably causing them to try to cut you down, but reacting strongly to it is only going to confirm their assumptions that you are someone they can use to make themselves feel better. Don’t let them win.
Take a look at the reference article that I just posted. Understand that sometimes it just is the nature of some people to try to take jabs at you in an attempt to rectify their own insecurities and stresses. Understand that it RARELY has NOTHING to do with you. Feel badly that they are in such a position, and be happy that you are not.
Now, it is true that from time to time the negative commentary might come from someone with some credibility, in the form of either a website review or a DVD review. When that happens, the best possible thing that you can do is ABSORB THE INFORMATION. See if you can contact the reviewer and see if there is anything that they can advise you on to make either your site or your content any better. Don’t take it as a personal attack – if the person reviewing you is a respected authority, then more than likely they are going to welcome your questions. The only outcome that can come out of a collaborative process like that is a better product. It’s free marketing advice – take it and run with it. In the best case scenario, a continued business relationship with reviewers can lead to added exposure for you and your site. And what is better than contemplating good/bad press? Free press. Savor it – some people have to pay out the nose for their publicity.
To quote Bill Cosby’s paraphrased version of Abraham Lincoln: “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not please all of the people all of the time.”