Today’s post is from Guest Blogger Silveramberz, who is an assistant to a few well-known adult industry talent ladies. We met on Twitter, and I thought that it might be nice for you readers to hear from someone who’s not talent in the industry, but interacts with talent on a daily basis…

Hi! First off, before I get into my topic, I just want to say what an honor it is being asked to guest post on this particular blog! It’s always wonderful to get to send a message out and network with the people in the industry I have come to love so much in the last 6 years of my life.

So, that said, I’ll give a little background info and then I’ll plunge right in. I’ve worked as a personal assistant to several pretty well known ladies in the adult industry over the past 5 years. Before that I worked as a customer service rep for a company which does advertising for adult entertainers online. Chances are, some of you have met me over the years at one trade show or another. I’ve been to Erotica LA, Adultcon, and most recently I was at the big convention that goes on during AVN in Vegas this past year. (No I won’t be there this year, it falls during my birthday and I have other plans). And even though I myself am not what we call “talent” in the industry, I don’t work under my real name either. So chances are I introduced myself as “Heather” if we have met in the past.

Now, while I won’t go into the details on who I have worked for, because I figure it best I have permission from those ladies before I divulge too many specifics, I do want to talk about one of the things I enjoy most in my job. That is, I have been given the opportunity to get to know the person behind the media/public persona. My position is very unique because I have to deal with both sides—the porn star and the ordinary woman behind the glamour.

For example, everybody knows Jenna Jameson, but how many can say they really KNOW Jenna? Okay, I admit; not me. I have never met Jenna. Her booth is always so packed when she’s doing the meet and greet at trade shows that there’s no way I have time to stand in line that long just to meet the porn star. But that’s one example. However, I have met many other ladies at these trade shows, and it is interesting how quickly they drop the façade when I tell them who I am, or rather, who I work for. Not everyone does this, but you get the sense that there is a moment’s relief from the ones that do, as if they are thinking “Thank goodness! This is someone I don’t have to pretend around because she knows the truth of what we go through!” particularly if there’s no one else around at that moment. So the smiles seem a bit more genuine. Or maybe I’m kidding myself and they really are just really great actresses. They can certainly turn on the charm either way!

Ah well, whether or not I get a glimpse of the true person behind the porn star glamour at trade shows, one thing I do know is that when you form a working relationship with someone you WILL come to know the person behind the glamour eventually. It comes with the territory. Due to the nature of the adult industry’s workings, an adult actress’s personal life can get very tangled in her work life. That kind of performance is very demanding, and she has to be healthy—physically and emotionally, to keep it up. As an assistant, I’ve been there to hear about a lot of ups and downs. I’ve been there to celebrate triumphs and to sympathize over the hardships. Among the triumphs: book deals, award nominations, really good semester grades in academic pursuits, or even just hearing that a really thoughtful person sent a very nice gift. Among the hardships: deaths in families, depression, boob jobs gone bad, fans turned into stalkers, divorce, and foreclosures on property.

I think it is when you learn about these hardships, the very ones that occur for all kinds of people, that you really come to accept that celebrities of any sort are people too. Just like everyone else they eat, sleep, cry, fall in love, get hurt, and have the occasional bad hair day. I’ve never been of the celebrity worshipping sort anyway, but I do understand a lot more now that what you see on the TV never even begins to scratch the surface of what is really there. But most people don’t think about that. They just think about what they have
read about that person, and what they have seen on TV. It doesn’t really occur to them that there is ever so much more lurking beneath that. And even if it does, they probably will not get the chance to see any of it. As I said, I feel privileged to have had the position where I can see more of what is there.

There are two ways in particular I have been very pleasantly surprised in getting to know more of what goes on behind the scenes. The first is that the women tend to stick together and make friends with each
other. Despite that there’s always going to be a little competition for work in the industry, especially now when so many young girls seem to want to enter, I’m amazed how much many of these women stand up for each other and help each other out. As many jobs as I have worked, I have never really seen people go to such lengths as I have here. The other pleasant surprise was finding out that ones who are truly
successful are not the stereotypical porn starlets the media likes to portray. You know the ones—drug abusing, violent mood swings and dramatic scenes, bitchy diva mentality, or air-headed party girl. My
guess is we see more of that in the media for two reasons: one because people like sensationalism and drama like that SELLS, and two because we live in a society that gets really squicky about the sex industry aside from carefully closeting ourselves away with it for guilty pleasures. Making it seem like everyone in the industry is bad and unstable is a good way of keeping it taboo, so that “nice” girls and boys don’t go into that dirty industry, even if they have a secret desire to do so.

The truth of the matter is, and I’ve said this before, the women I’ve worked for have been some of the most beautiful, level-headed, intelligent, genuine, and down-to-earth women I’ve ever met. Seriously, I know more people outside the adult entertainment industry that seem to live for stirring up drama than I do inside the industry. That’s not to say the industry doesn’t have them; just that I personally have dealt with it more outside of work. It’s been my experience that if there is drama around, it’s more that porn stars are more of a magnet for it rather than the spark that sets it off.

Anyway, before I wrap this up, I do want to express how much I love my job. I plan to write a book on all the craziness I have had to deal with over the years (mostly from the fans’ side rather than the people
I actually work for) and I sometimes do post about it behind a friend-locked filter on my personal blog at times when I’ve had a particularly crazy day. Maybe if I’m right and people want to know more what goes on behind the scenes, then the book will wind up being a best seller. If it does, then I can certainly attest that the adult entertainment industry has been more than good to me!

Thanks for reading and giving me the opportunity to share!

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