Most people following this blog is coming through Twitter, so I probably don’t need to explain what it is. That being said, I came across some rather interesting advice today that should be shared with anyone who is, or is contemplating, using Twitter as a means of social networking.
Most solo site girls will probably find that Twitter is not necessarily a means for them to solicit potential new members to their sites. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s not a viable means of networking. Much like the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game, you can ALWAYS indirectly market yourself to people who use Twitter. You can ALSO learn new methodologies for marketing your product. This blog site is a specific example of that, since currently I do not promote it anywhere else. If it weren’t for Twitter, you wouldn’t know that this site even existed. That’s not necessarily good marketing on my end – of course it would be better if I marketed myself a little more widely. However, you are joining this blog during its infancy. Guess you can always say “I knew that blog when”, LOL.
Don’t get disillusioned if being on Twitter is not causing your membership to increase on your site. It’s not necessarily designed that way. But it can be a valuable place for you to chat with other solo site girls, non-adult marketing gurus, and keep up with current events. It can also be a place where you can find people who are supportive of your daily ups and downs without being judgmental about your current choice in career. So many chatrooms and message board sites are filled with keyboard warriors and flamewar soldiers. Solo girl sites, and solo adult talent in general, have very little group camaraderie. Most message board sites are places where girls are too busy being competitive to share their tricks and offer advice or support. Twitter timelines, with the exception of a few that I won’t bother mentioning here, tend to be more supportive. People are going to respond to you in real time about your frustrations, your pains, your headaches and worries…as well as your successes and requests for encouragement. Twitter may not be a sunshiny happy utopia, but it certainly has the potential to be a great support site. Don’t necessarily use Twitter to promote yourself. Instead, use it as a place to find support and do any networking in that regard.
Now, returning to the bit of advice that I was sent today on Twitter in the form of a link, that started my own blog post today: take a look at Tim Bulchalka’s blog post on TakeOverPageOne.com. He mentions the seven biggest mistakes (his opinion, but I concur) that people make when being on Twitter. The biggest bit of advice? Be yourself! Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not. The rest of the world may see you as an internet adult actress, but aren’t you much more multidimensional than that? Share your experiences. Share who you are. I’m obviously not saying you need to open up your entire world with a public that might not know your privacy needs. But be open to sharing your disappointments and questions. Ask questions. Don’t always appear as the authority that you may be presenting yourself, if there are any issues in which you might need more education or clarity.
Just remember – confidence is sexy, but so many people don’t understand what real confidence is. Confidence isn’t being the arrogant authority on a subject. Admitting your faults and openly expressing your desire to learn and better yourself (in all the ways that is possible, from personal to business) is where REAL confidence comes in. Having the stones to admit that you’re not perfect but you’re open to suggestions is where real confidence comes in. And THAT’s sexy.
Here are some additional Twitter comic frames to make you giggle today:
The biggest bit of advice? Be yourself! Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not. The rest of the world may see you as an internet adult actress, but aren’t you much more multidimensional than that? Share your experiences. Share who you are.
That is actually the reason I followed you back. I have no interest in the adult market, whatsoever, but you seem really cool, confident, authentic and awesome.
Thank you so much, Helen! I think that in the adult market, people misunderstand who the talent is very easily. I have met so many ladies (and gents) in XXX who are “surprisingly” intelligent. I say “surprisingly” because the preconceived notion is that adult talent is such because they have no other marketable skills. Not necessarily so! It would be great if the rest of the world could see that sexy isn’t necessarily JUST what happens in your loins, but in your brain as well…and sometimes it’s much hotter.
The misconceptions happen a lot in the XXX market, but I have seen it in non-adult markets as well. If a person appears younger than they are, they are often mistaken for being foolish and inexperienced. They may lack in life experiences, but shutting yourself off from the input of a fresh perspective can be deadly, especially in this day and age of digital advertising. Women and minorities are also prone to misconceptions and preconceived notions as well.
On the other hand, ageism is also rampant in all aspects of business. Just because a person may appear too old to “get” with the hip crowd doesn’t mean that he may not have an interesting idea.
Being able to be yourself – funny, thoughtful, caring, insightful and introspective, with interests that may be either surprising or thought-provoking – these are the aspects of being human that make us interesting. Allow yourself to be yourself, and open yourself to how others are being THEMselves, without preconceived notions and assumptions. Of course, this doesn’t mean that one should be a Pollyanna. Life experiences are what teach us to be cogniscient of what is going on around you, and allows you to cultivate your sixth sense as well as enrich your overall daily experiences. I really believe that this is the best way to live life to the fullest.
Hopefully by constantly trying to give each other the benefit of the doubt, and allowing each other to prove each other’s worth, rather than assuming the worst, we can all benefit from collaboration and networking.
I am like the first person who commented. I am not into the XXX world but you requested me again on twitter and this time I read your tweets and realized you were not talking about the XXX stuff online there so that is why I followed you back. This will be a learning lesson for us all!
I’ve been getting spammed by a lot of not legit XXX people so that is why I was declining people connected to the industry. Sorry for me being such a jerk in not seeing your value!
Thank you for considering to follow me! It’s a pleasure!
Hi Jenn! I think that there are a lot of people who automatically have the “off” button that goes off when they hear that someone is in the adult industry. I think that’s why there are so many negative stigmas related to people in the business.
Trust me, there are many many reasons why those stigmas are true, LOL. But there are also quite a few people that see the obvious financial and business aspects of this kind of industry. XXX is unfortunately one of the only businesses where women consistently make more than men as talent. However, what those girls don’t understand is that even as talent, producers and executives are still making more money in the long run.
Adult SEO specialists as well as people like me are trying to make sure that IF (and that’s a big IF) someone wants to enter the industry, then being informed and educated is the best way to be in the industry. Not enough actors and actresses are owning their own content, and they are basically being used as “property” until their “property value” decreases. Then what?
Learning the business of the adult business is tantamount to being able to making the most money possible in this line of work – as well as learning ALL of the ways in which to stay safe. Not all of my blog posts may be palatable to the general non-XXX public, but I hope that over all, it is an informative blog for general marketing professionals as well as adult industry people.
And finally – you’re NOT a jerk! And thank you for deciding to follow me